I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
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Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
do nipples grow back?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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