If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
