have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
