Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize