I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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