just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
