i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
