I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
