Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
