mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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