M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
