Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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