She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize