Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you didnt know i had herpes?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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