i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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