dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
