He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
