what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
