I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
