Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
