Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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