My brain says no but my pants say off.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
