So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
