I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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