Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i would one night stand the shit outta him
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I think people are normalizing furries
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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