once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
