I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I could have mohawked her pubes.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
