i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
