i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
