We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
