sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
