i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
