Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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