I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
