you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize