Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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