So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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