omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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