i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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