I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
