I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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