I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My vagina is officially offended.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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