I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
