next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize