so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
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I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
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Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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