i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
