if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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