dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
