I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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