umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
