I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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