I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
