dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
