absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
