people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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