We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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