I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911