Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.