You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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