is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
