i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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