I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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