Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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