remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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